Broken Mirrors
by sentinel10
Summary: The weight of his words pushed me deeper into a drowning abyss. Rain clouds built inside my heart and it took everything in me to hold on and not let the pain take me. Drabble. Random sequences. Of friendships, growing up and finding love.
1. Chapter 1

All characters and recognisable items belong to their owners respectively.

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><p>.<p>

[Broken Mirrors]

.

_'He is his own best friend, and takes delight in privacy _

_whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude'_

_._

"The Giants sure are kicking Cincinnati's ass," I couldn't help but comment as I swung my legs from side to side on the heavy grey recliner.

Charlie did nothing but nod and sip his cheap beer, too football induced to even look in my direction. "They'll come up, you wait and see. It's only the second quarter."

Yeah, second quarter and they're already getting pummelled.

"Sure," I drawled as I rolled my eyes and kept on swinging my legs in an attempt to amuse myself.

"Football is more of a game of numbers. Each pass, each yard and each tackle is measured. Cincinnati may be down on the score board but their stats tell a whole different story."

God, I hated when Charlie got in his Jerry Maguire frame of mind. Grunting a reply I picked at my nail bed in an attempt to bite my tongue.

"Hey, ain't you meant to be going out with Edward tonight?" my step father asked mockingly, assuming what everybody else in the small minded town assumed about me and my best friend.

Leaning my head back I glanced at the old ugly pale peach clock on the wall which read both the time and date like something out of a bad seventies movie.

Edward was already twenty minutes late and had this been an actual date I would have been cussing and bad mouthing the so called jerk.

"I am," I responded snidely as I stretched out my hands over my head and pointed my toes, easing some of the built up tension in my joints. I was still hurting from the mornings dance routine and my ankle still buzzed a little from having it completely strapped.

"He's late," Charlie stated matter a factly which made me want to shove the beer bottle down his throat.

"Yeah. I told him to pick up some condoms from the store on the way. You know, just in case."

Now that got a rise out of my oh-so-calm step father. Choking on his beer Charlie placed the bottle down on the coffee table and kicked the bottom half of the recliner back, in an attempt to get to his feet.

"Ah - getting another beer. You, you want one?" he stuttered, finding any plausible reason to change the subject. Teen sex probably didn't even exist in Charlie's vocabulary. He was a cop for crying out loud, surely he'd had his fair share of dry humping teens in the back of their cars on the most deserted hang out point they could find.

"I'm seventeen Charlie," I frowned, tisking him like my mother would.

"Right," he nodded, his face looking slightly pale and the corner of his lip twitching in nervousness.

As soon as he scurried toward the kitchen I chuckled quietly to myself. It was always so easy to embarrass the chief of police that it was also a crime not to bait him.

"Hey Lee, have you seen my dad?" Bella, my fourteen year old step sister asked as she came flying down the stairs like a bat out of Hell. Standing at barely five foot the poor girl was nothing but big doe eyes and thick brown hair.

"What the fuck happened to you?" I exclaimed through my laughter, noticing her fingers smeared with PVC glue and small pieces of scrap paper stuck to their tips.

Being Bella, she flushed at my choice of language and tried to diddle her hands behind her back in an attempt to hide her accident prone self from my amused view.

"Uh- school project," she muttered shyly as she headed to the kitchen in search of Charlie.

Before I had time to contemplate a way to bring my shy, introvert, slightly weird step sister out of her cocoon, the knock I'd been waiting for finally came.

Untangling myself from the couch I sprinted to the door, making sure to wear my signature glare as I pulled open the pine.

"You're late," I scowled as I looked up at my lanky best friend who had grown at least four inches over the summer. I didn't even have time to comment on his ugly brown sweater before he picked me up and spun me in tireless circles around the porch.

Laughter exploded from my lips as he spun me, his head digging into the crevice of my boobs, the same ones I'd been trying to hide under baggy clothes since I was fourteen.

"Edward, Edward," I shouted, whacking his shoulder, "Put me down you idiot."

Within seconds we were face to face again, my feet unsteadily on the floor while his chest heaved wildly and his green eyes sparked through his blue framed glasses. "You're calling a future Harvard graduate an idiot?" he said cockily as he shot me that Cullen lopsided grin that he shared with his sister Rose.

"What?" I gaped, holding steadily to his shoulders as his arms still braced my waist. "Get the fuck outta here!" I squealed, launching myself at him and squeezing him impossibly tight.

"I just got the letter. Full scholarship," he grinned as he squeezed me in response and pulled back. "I leave for Boston in two months."

Frowning I pulled back and looked up at his hopelessly ecstatic face.

"Boston?"

"Yeah," he laughed tugging me toward the porch seat. "I'll be staying on campus in the dormitories. Mum and dad wanted to get me my own apartment but I told them I wanted to have the whole college experience. You know, sweaty roommates, parties in the halls, sneaking girls in after hours" he chuckled as he tugged me over his lap and braced my side against his chest.

I felt small in his arms, sitting like a child over his lap as he blabbed on and on about the awesomeness of college. Edward had been talking about Harvard since we were young, wanting to follow in his father's academic blights and be the next in a long line of doctors in the Cullen family. I knew this day had been coming for a long time and yet, hearing him announce his soon to be departure, it felt new and unwanted.

Maybe if I'd been I little brighter I'd have realized Harvard wasn't just a short drive away or a bus liner ticket in distance. Harvard was in Boston, as in on the opposite side of the country and literally a lifetime away.

"Hey," Edward whispered tugging on the sleeve of jumper. "You're awfully quiet over there."

His voice was soft, quiet and so overly comforting I wasn't sure what I would do without it. I still had a year of high school left and in that time Edward would become a man, live his own adventures and probably get a new best friend. A best friend closer, in Boston itself, leaving the small town friendship we had for the vultures to pick at.

"I didn't realize Harvard was in Boston," I replied seriously as I watched my mother's car pull in the driveway.

Untangling myself I sat to Edwards's side.

"Where did you think it was?" he asked as he twirled his pointer finger through my messy pony tail, tugging on the ends when I didn't respond immediately.

"I don't know. Seattle?" I mumbled, as I pushed Edward's large hands away from fiddling in my hair. It was a habit he had, one that annoyed me to no end.

"I know it seems really far away, but I'll come back every holiday. Plus there's email, the phone, even web cam if you're up for it," he chuckled until he noticed I wasn't laughing with him. "I thought you'd be happy for me, I've wanted this forever."

"I know," I whispered as I ran my hands up my face and through my hair. "And I am happy for you but - I'm just gonna miss you, you know. It's always been just the two of us. Now it's going to just be me here and you there."

"Well...," Edward stuttered as he pushed up his glasses, "Once you finish school you can come to Boston and it will be the two if us again. Just Tiny and Cullen, I promise."

I tried to smile as my mother walked up the steps and did my best to wipe the stray tears away, even though the smile turned into a grimace and the tears were wiped with heavy hands.

"Hey kids."

"Hey Ms Clearwater"

"Hi mom"

"Are you two okay?" she asked, her motherly alert peaking immediately at the sight of my tears.

"Never better," I sniffled. "Edward got into Harvard."

"How exciting for you honey. I'm sure you're parents are over joyed," my mother said warmly, squeezing my best friends shoulder and ruffling his messy copper hair.

"Thanks Sue. They are," he beamed, happy with my mother's approval. I wanted to slap them both. "I just wish my best friend would be as happy as I am."

"Whatever," I grumbled as I pulled up my legs and hugged my knees.

Edward couldn't understand. He was going away, off to an exciting new place with new experiences while I had to stay here in Forks and rot with the rest of the small town losers.

"I'll leave you kids to talk," my mom said giving Edward another reassuring shoulder squeeze before slipping inside.

"You wanna talk about it or just sulk?" Edward huffed as he shifted in his spot.

"I'm not the one leaving," I grumbled, hiding my face in my knees.

Gently tugging on my collar Edward rested his chin on my shoulder and threw his arm over my back.

"What do you want me to do Tiny? You've known how much I've wanted this. I've worked so hard for this and you're making me feel really bad. Will you please look at me?" he asked quietly.

Turning to the side, our noses brushed as his warm breath blew over my lips and cold, tear stained cheeks.

His green eyes darkened for only a second before he cleared his throat and pulled back a little.

"You'll always be my best friend Leah. Always."

Somehow, that's the one thing I dreaded.


	2. Chapter 2

"Guess who talked Stacey Wemer into letting us in to the drive in theatre tonight?"

Groaning Edward flopped down onto the couch next to me, laying his head in my lap. Stretching out he brushed my toes with one hand and came dangerously close to my nose with the other.

"I don't get it. You _hate_ Stacey and you _hate_ the drive in. What was last times excuse - oh yes, 'only horny love sick teens sit in a car and watch geezer movies'."

"Both statements are surprisingly true, however tonight they're showing horror movies. My favourite."

"I still don't get it," Edward frowned as he twisted the thin silver ring on my middle finger, the one he'd given me for my fifteenth birthday.

It was simple, no stone, just a clean band of silver, easy and carefree like our friendship had always been. Edward wore an exact replica on his middle finger as well, though his was a little thicker.

A matching pair.

"Stacey's going to let us in for free, numb nuts. For free! How the hell can I pass that offer up?"

"Guess you can't," he sighed as he measured my wrist by cupping it with his thumb and each opposing finger.

"Well," I huffed, "if you think there is something better to do tonight-"

"It's not that," he grimaced, letting my wrist go. "I want to go to the drive in with you, trust me I do. But - I kind of have a date?"

Edward wasn't telling me, he was asking permission.

"With who?" I frowned, wondering why he hadn't told me earlier.

Thursday was always movie night, Thursday was usually _our_ night. It was really the only night of the week Edward wasn't busy with engagements his family coerced him into. His family was rich, i.e he got all the party invitations and usually had to attend on principle. He was a Cullen after all.

"Jessica Stanley."

"Who?" I questioned. I'd never heard of her and she was not in any of my classes.

"She goes to Forks High. I think she's friends with your sister."

"First of all, Bella is my _step_ sister not my sister and secondly, are you out of your fucking mind? They're like fourteen," I shrieked the latter part while he cringed back a little.

"I know alright," he moaned, rubbing at his neck. "Her father, Rodney, works with Carlisle at the hospital and asked if I could take his daughter out, you know, show her around the town and what not. They've only been here a couple of months and he thinks she should get out more."

"You are so lame right now. You realise you're ditching me for a kid right?" I huffed in annoyance, trying to pick at the no existent threads of Edward's mothers couch. The deep burgundy was rich, streamlined with silk panels, much too extravagant for a sitting room.

"I know," he nodded, rising from the chair and glancing at the huge grandfather clock. "You want me to drop you home on my way into town?" he added, trying to get on my sweet side.

It wasn't going to happen because now I had to find someone else to hang out with.


	3. Chapter 3

_Lee,_

_Charlie and I have gone to the Blacks for dinner. Bella's upstairs working on her science homework so we've left you both money for dinner. Please make sure she eats something, you know how she forgets when she's working on her school things._

_Love mom_

Huffing, I opened the fridge to grab a soda before closing the door and re-reading the note.

It was just my luck.

Another Friday night on Bella babysitting duty. It was times like these I actually wished I had a boyfriend and an excuse to be anywhere but home.

After calling for pizza and collecting it from the delivery guy at the door, I climbed the stairs and knocked on the door opposite to mine.

Bella's door was bare except for a small splatter of lettered stickers; the corners frayed slightly from age and they defiantly needed replacing.

When we had first moved into the house as a family Bella had only been two years old, both of us unsure as to why we were living together. I remembered the first night in the big new house like it was a week ago.

It had been raining from the thunder storm that had been brewing for days. After the first big crack of thunder shook my bedroom walls a soft knock sounded against the door.

A two year old Bella had been standing on the opposite side of the door, her glossy eyes wide with fear as she clutched a Winnie blanket to her chest.

I seemed to understand straight away and allowed Bella to sleep on my big girl bed with me much like my father used to do when I was scared of the big Olympic storms.

My mother had taken a photo after discovering the two of us rugged up under Bella's favourite blanket. The same blanket she'd never let anyone touch.

"Bella?" I called standing back as she appeared through a slit in the door, dressed in a long flannel shirt and jeans.

"Hey," Bella whispered, her eyes darting back toward her desk ever so often.

"Pizzas here."

"Oh right. Mom and dad were going to Billy's right?" she girl asked nervously, biting her bottom lip and tucking her hair behind her ear.

It was still weird that Bella called my mother, mom, but I understood and my eyes softened for a moment.

Bella's birth mother had been killed in a car accident when she was six months old and Sue was really the only mother she ever had.

"Yeah. Come on. It's getting cold." I nodded in finality not leaving any room for her to make excuses.


	4. Chapter 4

"Leah honey," Esme whispered as she shook my shoulder in an attempt to rouse me.

The white sheets were tumbled and turned, my hair fanning out across the pale cotton sheets with my head buried firmly against the pillows.

I knew it was her instantly by the softness of her hands. She was the only person in the world with hands as soft as wool and as gentle as a feather.

"Hmm," I murmured as I turned over to come face to face with Edward's young mother, who was so elegantly beautiful that it hurt to look at her so early in the morning.

Squinting my eyes I glanced around the room finding it unfamiliar and interested as to why Esme was in my room.

Wiping my eyes I realised that it wasn't my room at all.

"You fell asleep last night and Edward insisted you stay in the guest bedroom," Esme hummed as she drew the curtains back to reveal the warm sunny morning burning brightly outside. "He didn't want to risk you driving home."

"Oh," I nodded pulling the sheet upward even though I was fully clothed. I always felt naked under the steady watch of Esme's dark blue eyes.

"Since you're already here, why don't you join us for breakfast? I had Maria lay some of Rosalie's clothes out for you," she said, gesturing to a neat pile of clothes folded on the dresser.

"Sure," I replied awkwardly as she stepped from the bedroom and headed down stairs.

After a long hot shower and struggling with Edward's older sister's clothes, I finally made my way downstairs.

Nerves shot along my spine as my hands slid along the railing of the wooden posts, my self-conscience getting the better of me.

Glancing down I swore under my breath as I looked over the clothing I had managed to squeeze into once again.

Rosalie's clothing was far too tight and far too promiscuous for my liking. The jeans were fitted, cupping every single curve from my waist down while the white long sleeved cashmere jumper dipped far too deep in the front to be modest.

I jumped feeling two large hands clamping over my eyes before a familiar lean body pressed into my back.

An easy smile slid over my face and I couldn't help laugh feeling the warm stream of breath ruffling my hair.

"Guess who?"

"Brad Pitt?" I drawled cheekily, knowing how Edward felt about my unusual attraction to a man more than double my age.

"Not exactly," Edward frowned as he pulled his hands away from my face and spun me around.

"Aww too bad, I was really hoping it was going to be Brad."

"Please," he responded with an eye roll. "I'm _way_ smarter than Brad Pitt."

"Hmmm," I smiled as I bit my lip, "but he's so much cuter and his ass. Lord, the things I would do to that man."

"You're worse than most men, I swear," he laughed taking me into his arms and kissing my forehead.

"Come on, breakfast is going to get cold."


	5. Chapter 5

"So Leah, Edward tells us you'll be in your last year of high school while he's away at Harvard. Have you applied for any colleges? Spring sessions perhaps?" Carlisle asked as he wiped the corner of his mouth with the napkin.

Choking a little on my bagel I wiped my hands on the edge of the Cullen's expensive table cloth out of view. Courteous behaviour and manners where an expectation in Edward's household.

"I'm not really smart like Edward is sir. I doubt any of the colleges would want me."

"I'm sure that's not true darling," Esme smiled as she patted my hand in support.

Truth was my grades hadn't been worth mentioning for a while. Even having Edward didn't help, I just wasn't academic enough for college and had already resigned my life for something less grand than being a doctor or a lawyer in like. I figured the money my mom was saving could be better used on Bella, the only hope in our small dysfunctional family, of graduating college.

Placing his knife a fork down Carlisle gave me a serious look. "And what do you plan on doing after high school? I doubt Charlie and Sue would be willing to support an uneducated child who seems to have no ambition."

"Dad, that's enough," Edward growled, placing a protective hand over my leg. "What Leah does with her life is no one's business but her own."

Blowing his son off and shaking his head, Carlisle merely chuckled.

"Given the strange romantic link between the both of you, I'd say it _is_ my business. The last thing I need is for you to throw away your chance at a fine education for something that would never last. Being a father at eighteen is not a life my son will live."

With a dry mouth and a large lump forming in my throat I excused myself from the table. The sound of clunking cutlery twanged in my ears as I hurried toward the door. Never had anyone spoken so forwardly to me.

Even though Edward and I were in no way romantic, his father had a point. I was the type of girl that held people like Edward back. The type of girl that got pregnant and worked as a waitress for the rest of her life.

"Leah stop," Edward chilled as he ran after me, catching me just before I got to the door.

Tugging on my hand he faced me toward him and cupped my face.

"Look at me," he whispered, running his thumbs over my cheeks to warm my cool skin.

"He's right," I mumbled as I looked up at Edward through the thin glass covering his bright eyes. "I'm not going to be anything and I'm going to be stuck here forever."

"That's not true Leah. You're so smart and beautiful; you can do anything you want to do. Anything you put your mind to," Edward said firmly.

I appreciated his lies and had long allowed him to tell me as such, one after the other until I wasn't sure what the truth was anymore. Edward was sweet, kind and deserved the very best. He worked hard and earned everything he ever had regardless of his parent's money.

"Thank you," I whispered, holding on to the buttons of his shirt. "I better go."

"Stay please," Edward pleaded with me holding my hands tightly. "I only have three more days before I leave. I want to spend them with you," he said sweetly as he tucked a piece of my hair back behind my ear.

"Why?"

"You're my best friend remember?" he smirked as he leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Nice shirt by the way," he grinned as his eyes travelled down.

Unable to stop my smile from cracking through I pushed his shoulder and snorted. "Keep dreaming Cullen."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey Kiddo, you sure you'll be alright catching the bus home?" Charlie asked as he fiddled with his moustache and tapped his fingers idly against the steering wheel.

Bouncing my leg in anticipation I was much too busy scouring for a park for him to let me out, than to answer in more than a word.

"Yep."

"Well it's up to you but I could always wait around, tell Kara I won't be in until -"

"Shit, there's one here, pull over," I near shouted, pointing wildly at the curb side park.

Even though the park looked much too small for Charlie's cruiser I didn't care. All I needed was for him to stop for more than two seconds for me to be able to leap from the car.

"I can't stop here, this is a loading zone," Charlie muttered as he shook his head and began moving forward again.

Without hesitation I snatched up my jacket and popped open the door.

Realizing what I was doing, Charlie hit the skids, making the beast of a car lurch forward.

"Damn it Leah," my step father shouted as I stumbled from the truck and made a mad dash toward the airport doors.

"Sorry," I shouted back my lame excuse as I pushed hard against the glass doors.

My mom was going to kill me later for that little stunt but I didn't care. Edward would be leaving, was leaving, soon and I couldn't miss it for the world.

I had to see him off. There was no telling how long it would be until I saw him again, even with the promises of coming back every holiday.

By the time I got through security my heart was pounding in my chest and tears were already filling my lashes.

This was the last time I'd see my best friend, my only friend really.

Seeing a tall, wild haired figure in the distance I didn't even give him time to turn around before I barrelled into his back and hugged him tightly from behind.

The sound of his chuckle began my first messy sob into his old dodger's jacket.

"I knew you'd make it," he mumbled as I allowed him to turn in my arms.

"Guess who," I hiccupped into his chest, trying to lighten my own mood.

Cocooning me in his arms he ushered toward the tall glass window which separated the passengers from the Tarmac.

The clouds loomed overhead as always and the black runway looked wet from the streaky showers of the early morning.

The lights seemed too bright and almost invading, so it was a warm delight to be safe within Edwards grasp.


	7. Chapter 7

_Don't forget: Some of these drabbles are not in sequence and can cut to anywhere in time._

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><p>Finding a quiet corner of the house was an impossible mission with the hordes of floating guests. The smell of liquor, sex and drugs clung to the air making it impossible to breathe.<p>

Finding one of the many bathrooms I fumbled my way inside and locked the door.

Slumping against the tiled wall I slid down ungraciously as I pulled off my dangerously high shoes by the heel.

The silver and black suede was dumped into the bath tub with other items people seemed to have forgotten or tossed to the side. A jacket, a scarf and a thong lay crumpled at the bottom.

Sitting back against the wall and reaching for the half drunk bottle of southern whiskey from under my arm, I gulped it heavily desperately trying to drown my lungs with liquid.

The fire slid down my throat in a way that both shocked and healed me. At least I could always rely on this to keep me warm at night.

With Felix gone back to Florida to reconcile with his wife, I felt so alone. More alone than I had felt in years. Not since Edward.

_Edward_.

People crammed the house, lined the driveway and scattered over the lawns but not one of them was a friend of mine.

They were all vultures; waiting until I fell so low they could finish me off and peck at the bones. A fall from grace was expected regardless.

They were all temporary distractions from the real problems in my life. Merely a stand-in crowd that clapped once I'd finished entertaining them and disappeared when all the glitter and mascara washed away.

"Shit-" I spluttered as I took another hard sip and felt it drip down my chin.

Coughing, I disposed of the bottle with the rest of the itemed heap and reached for my bag.

Shoving makeup and loose coins to the side I fished out my cell and found myself dialling an all too familiar number.

I wasn't going to cause trouble; I'd sworn that to myself. If he was truly happy, I would be happy for him. No matter how much it killed me.

"Hello?" a raspy voice muttered on the other end.

My heart dropped into my stomach as I closed my eyes and continued to breathe through the pain. I wasn't going to do anything, just listen.

A sigh.

A pause.

"Leah?"

My throat turned dry as I shook my head and held my hand over my mouth. I knew not to make a sound and it seemed the tears that ran over the back of my hand had made me a liar once again. I'd promised I wouldn't cry for him anymore.

"If it's you Leah, don't hang up," he whispered, the sound of shuffling sheets in the back ground.

Was he with her at this very moment? Had they spent the night together? Had they whispered words of love?

"Are you okay?"

"Are you safe?"

Pause.

A deep breath.

"I miss you, you know. It's quiet without you in my life. I wish there was something I could do to-," another pause strained the conversation but he continued. "But there isn't, is there?"

Silence filled the lost time between us and I wanted nothing more than to speak to him, laugh with him, lay next to him and listen to that strong heart I'd memorised the beat to, so long ago.

"Your mom misses you. I was there the other day, sitting in your room and we spoke at length. I know you hate me, trust me, I hate me too. But don't be mad at her, at your family."

Long deep, strained breaths filled my ears.

"I never meant to fall in love with her, Leah. You've got to believe me."

I feel my throat burn and the tears begin to fall like a stream. One by one they fall, drowning me in my own despair. How could life be so cruel, so unfair?

"I'll understand if you can't make it to the wedding, but I really wish you would try," he murmured. "It would mean a lot to us and-"

Hanging up quickly I lurched, sobbing and pressing the butt of my palms into my eyes.

My body shook and my heart felt as though someone had pierced it with a flaming arrow, charring and burning what part of it I had left.

Clutching the cell phone to my chest I tried to push through the pain, but it took me on its sensuous journey with very breath.

Hours could have bled into days and I wouldn't have known. Time meant nothing to me.

Every second away from him felt like an eternity.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sue POV**

Sitting at the table I worked on one of the last assignments for my nursing thesis. The study part of my life would soon be over and all my hard work would finally be paying off.

Between keeping a house, a job, studying and a family I could finally free up some time and enjoy it all.

Blinking I leaned back and took a sip of my coffee, regarding the words on the pages. It had taken such a long time to finally finish all the required elements of the course and I was thankful this would be the last.

Sighing, I sat with a content smile as Charlie walked from the lounge to the kitchen. I watched as he mumbled something about carburettors and spark plugs and laughed as he cursed the many manufacturers that had decided to make mowers more complex than cars.

"You need some help, honey?" I asked as I glided toward him and rested my hand on his back in a soothing matter.

Before Charlie could reply I kissed him in response. The kiss was tender and delicate and was sure to leave my husband a little hot under the collar. Having the two girls finally out of the house was a blessing in disguise, even though we both worried far too much about their wellbeing.

Charlie groaned in appreciation to the kiss and dropped the mower part to the bench, wrapping his arms around me.

I shivered in excitement as he bit my bottom lip, biting it before massaging it softly to ease the burn.

At the sound of the ringing phone I sighed and ran my hands through my husband's thick brown hair before pulling back to kiss his nose.

"I have to get that," I giggled when he grunted and continued to kiss my neck, holding the small of my back tightly so I remained pressed against him.

Laughing I reached back and cradled the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"


	9. Chapter 9

"So, how was your cradle snatching date with the Stanley girl?" I asked Edward as we walked down the pier, our shoulders bumping lightly. "Please tell me you didn't get to second base."

Looking over at the disgust written on his face I couldn't help but laugh.

"Gross Tiny. She's not exactly my type," he answered back as he dodged a couple of kids on skate boards that were terrorising the area and having the time of their lives.

"Funny, I thought you were into the whole jailbait thing," I chuckled as he threw his arm around my neck and tried to headlock me.

Getting away from his grasp easily, I stopped and leaned back against the rail and eyed him.

His grey suit pants looked strange for our casual dinner and the white dress shirt he wore was folded to his elbows. I guess I could find it in my heart to forgive him, especially since he'd ditched his parent's anniversary party to take me out.

"So what _is_ your type? And before you speak please spare me the typical male fantasy of blonde and leggy."

"You forgot big breasted," he grinned as he scratched his nape.

"Edward, I'm serious," I whined, kicking the toe of his shoes with mine. "Come on, give me something."

"Fine," he grumbled, his pale cheeks turning a light pink. "I like smart girls, you know, ones that know about more than how to apply makeup."

"Well that rules out every girl in Forks High," I snorted, quite pleased with my assessment.

"If you're going to interrupt forget about it," he grumbled.

"No more talking, I swear," I promised, zipping my mouth and throwing away the key.

"I like girls that are real and not just trying to impress me because of my last name. I want someone who is fair, kind and compassionate. I want someone who loves me for me. I want someone just like you."

"Well that's not asking for much at all," I snorted and grabbed his hand. "Come on handsome, let's get some nachos and build a game plan to find you the perfect girl."

After finding a table at 'Joes' and devouring most of the sour cream off the top of my chips I flipped over a napkin and cocked my pen.

"So, Ms Perfect. What does she look like?"

"Huh?" Edward asked as he licked some nacho sauce from his thumb and picked through the capsicum and tomato salsa.

"Your dream girl. I need specs if we are going to find her," I stated rolling my eyes.

"What's with all of this?" Edward asked cocking his head to the side.

"What?" I blinked innocently.

"This matchmaker business," he accused as he took a sip of his lemonade.

"You don't want a girlfriend?" cocking my eyebrow I looked over him.

Edward was a good looking guy and I'd never seen him with a girl besides me. We'd had the gay chat, which he assured me wasn't the case. Not that I cared about his sexuality, a girls just gotta know.

"I don't have time for a girlfriend. Plus, what would I do with her when I have you?"

"That was smooth Cullen, really smooth," I smirked before it dropped a little. "You know this is the reason why everyone thinks we're dating right?"

"Is that such a bad thing? I mean, as long as I'm with you I don't have to worry about girls wanting me to take them out."

"Huh," I muttered softly. "So I'm like a diversion?"

"No Tiny," Edward smiled as he reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "You're like my best friend. I don't need anybody else."

After paying for our meals we walked along the planked pier. With the sun quickly disappearing behind the horizon the temperature began to drop.

We walked side by side, laughing and chatting about Edward's sister's boyfriend.

"So they met one day in Natural History and bam, insta-love?" I asked, trying to relay the story back.

"Well thats how Rose told it. She's actually talking about marrying him." Edward grimaced as he followed suit and tucked his hands in his pants pocket.

"Wow," I exclaimed. "Have you even met your brother-to-be?"

"Once or twice," Edward shrugged. "He seems nice enough and treats my sister like a princess. So there isn't really anything to hate. They're both planning to come back for Christmas."

"That's nice of them. I'm sure your mother is happy."

Snorting, Edward rolled his eyes, "My mother is always happy Lee. It's kind of freaky how she does that."

Smiling, I nodded. "Yeah, it is a little freaky."


	10. Chapter 10

**Sue POV**

Packing the last of my toiletries into the small leather bag I zipped up the case and pulled the handle.

Glancing at the young girl beside me I sighed and wiped away the tear that was failing across her pale cheek. She was almost nineteen and still she was my little china doll.

"It's going to be fine Bella. Leah will be alright."

Sobbing lightly, Bella allowed me to embrace her. She'd always been much more delicate than my Leah and it scared the hell out of me to know that the stronger one of them had been hurt.

Sniffling against my shoulder she tried to suck in bigger breaths to stop from hyperventilating. With me rubbing her back and whispering reassuring words, she gently calmed enough to pull away from the embrace.

"How can you say that? You don't know that!"

"She'll be fine, because she has to be," I said sternly, tucking Bella's long brown hair back over her shoulders.

"I'll see you in a few days okay? Your dad and you can come visit once I find somewhere to situate ourselves alright?"

"Okay," Bella murmured as she twisted a small blanket piece in her fingers. "I know it's weird but can you give this to her?" she whispered, handing me the folded piece of cloth.

Realizing that Bella was giving me the childhood Winnie blanket I smiled. "I'm sure she'll love it honey."

With a final embrace and a wave I set off in my car toward Chicago.


	11. Chapter 11

**Edward POV**

Walking down the passage hall I set the papers down and studied the white board. I had sit-ins for multiple surgeries today and I only hoped more wouldn't be chalked in.

Six long months had flown past me while I completed my residency and the time seemed to crawl like a child.

Taking the down the room numbers I turned to return the pen to the nurse when I spotted a beautiful dark haired woman on the opposite end of the counter. Her eyes were rimmed red and she looked much more tried than last time I'd seen her.

"Sue?"

Glancing up, Sue held her breath as more tears built in her eyes.

"Edward?"

Making my way around the counter I pulled her to the side and embraced her lightly. Time had been good to her and it felt as though I was hugging my own mother.

"Are you alright? What are you doing here?" my voice was laced with a concern I could not hide and her eyebrows almost shot into her hair line.

"Nobody told you?"

"Told me what? _Sue_ - what didn't anybody tell me?"

"I left a note with your father, I was sure he'd pass it on," she whispered as she dabbed the corners on her eyes.

Looking up she smiled sadly at me, compassion in her eyes and empathy in her heart.

"No." I growled sternly, stepping back and trying to breathe through my nose because my mouth could barely open.

"Leah was in an accident."

"You're lying. Carlisle would have told me," I accuse, feeling as though someone had just punched me in the chest.

"A driver went through a red light and hit her vehicle. The left side of the car was unrecognisable."

"When," I rasped out around the lump in my throat.

"A month ago," Sue replied as she lay a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I didn't have your number; I wasn't sure where you were. I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to."

Guilt clung to every pore in my body and my nose flared in anger. Sue had told my father and Carlisle had not passed on the message. How could my father be so fucking selfish?

"Wait," I swallowed as I glanced behind her and spotted Charlie and Leah's sister, "she's here? At _this_ hospital?"

Panic seemed to seize my entire body and all I wanted to do was shake Sue so she'd tell me everything and tell me quickly.

"Take me to her."

"Edward," Sue's eyes darted to the hall behind me, "I don't think that's a good idea. She - she's having trouble remembering certain things..."

"Where," I growled, my teeth grinding together tightly.

"Room 76." Bella said, speaking up beside her father.

Offering a nod of thanks I took off in a mad dash in the opposite direction.

34.

My mind was swirling with the possibilities of her injuries, how she felt, if she was comfortable and what I could do for her.

41.

Would she remember me? Would she remember the times we'd had, that she was my best friend? Would she still be as beautiful as she always had been both in and out?

59.

Would she need me? Would she allow me to take care of her, to help her remember everything we had together once upon a time?

74.

Coming to a stop I straightened out my blue scrubs and brushed a hand through my messy hair. I was nervous and excited, that feeling of a thousand butterflies floating through my stomach.

I was afraid of what I'd see once I walked through the doors, but what scared me the most was not seeing her.

The sound of a woman's tinkling laughter shot to my ears and I couldn't help but grin as I rounded the doorway.

Within a mere moment the grin slid off my face.

Leah was propped up in bed, but I couldn't see her face. Her long black hair hung limply against her back and I could see through the opening of her robe a large black mark running across her back. No. Not a mark. A tattoo; with intriguing designs and perfect shading.

"Oh the doctor's here," a large man stated as he stood from beside Leah's bed.

Turning her head, I felt my heart stop.

She looked fine. Amazing. Still so heart-breakingly beautiful.

Her wide brown eyes studied me for a moment before she blushed and turned back toward her huge friend.

_Holy fuck_, I thought, knowing that my best friend did not blush easily and the slightest glance of me had made her do so.

Did that mean she found me attractive? Why else would she blush? Maybe it was because of the vulnerable state she was in?

"Hey doc," the man said as he held out a hand for me to take.

I took it out of pure confusion. Who was this man and what exactly did he mean to Leah?

"Hey," I replied gruffly seeming like a bird ruffling his feathers.


	12. Chapter 12

"Hello?"

"Who is this?" I asked, expecting Edward to pick up the home phone.

"Sam. Who's this?"

"Umm... Why are you picking up the Cullen's phone?" I questioned.

"Rose and Emmett are a little occupied at the moment. Nobody else is here so I thought I'd do the gentlemanly thing. Clearly you're not impressed?"

Scrunching my brow I bit my lip. Was this Sam guy flirting with me or was I losing my marbles?

"Is Edward there?" I finally spluttered.

"Nah, the kids gone out somewhere."

"Oh, well can I leave a message?"

"What am I, a secretary?" he grumbled.

"Well you did pick up the phone," I giggled, amused by his behaviour.

"Sure whatever. Lay it on me."

Relaying my message I said goodbye to Sam and headed back downstairs to put the phone on charge.

Grabbing a parka and sliding on some boots I headed towards the library to pick up some extra marks for my chemistry exam.

My course work was sliding far faster than I was able to catch it and by cramming I hoped it would get me at least partially over the line.

Walking through the door I groaned when I saw Bella shyly waving.

Sitting at an old desk she had piles and piles of old books from every subject surrounding her.

"Hey Bella," I grumbled as I took a seat and undid my jacket. "Studying?"

"Yeah," she chuckled nervously. "I was supposed to meet Jessica and Angela but they must be running late."

Glancing at my step sister she grimaced before hiding her bubble watch under her long sleeve shirt.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked seriously, knowing they'd purposely stood Bella up before.

"Uh, two hours," she blushed as her head bowed.

Hearing a collaborative of voices I glanced through a stack of books knowing I'd heard one of them before.

I had to blink to actually believe in what I was seeing.

Edward sat on a lounging chair with some blonde slut on his lap who was desperately kissing his neck and any piece of skin she could reach.

He laughed and pawed at her thighs as he enjoyed the lashing he was receiving.

That was until his eyes met mine.

"Fucking bitches," I spat as I tugged Bella to her feet and began heading to the door. I couldn't deal with this shit right now.

_You're all I need, my ass._

"I have to study Lee," she whined as I threw on my coat and grabbed hers from the back of the chair.

"Let's go do something fun alright? Forget studying, forget shitty friends, let's just go hang out, you know, like sisters."

Bella's eyes softened for a moment and I knew I'd won her over. It wasn't very often I offered to hang out with anyone besides Edward, the liar.

"Okay. Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here."


	13. Chapter 13

"Bella," I hissed, tapping lightly on her window. Seeing her stir in her bed made my panic more insistent. "Bella!"

"Huh?" Bella muttered as she rubbed her eyes and sat up.

Waving my arms like a fucking wild woman, I managed to only just get her attention.

"Leah?"

"Open the window," I mouth desperately, tugging on the windowsill which refused to budge.

"What are you doing?" she yawned as she undid the latch to watch me crawl through the small space.

"Paul had a party. It was ah-may-_zing_. You totally should have come," I giggled, the safety of the house now flooding over me.

Crinkling her nose Bella sniffed my hoodie, "Are you drunk? What's that smell?"

"Just some weed. Want some?" I asked pulling myself onto Bella's soft bed and rolling amongst the clean pink sheets. The feeling of the cotton on my skin felt spectacular and I wanted nothing more than to roll amongst it and fall asleep like a princess.

"I don't think I should," she muttered as she scratched her head. "Dad might smell it in my room."

"Boo. You're such a party pooper Bells. Liven up," I complained as I kicked my shoes off and played with her magic eight ball alarm clock.

Siting on the edge of the bed and pulling her knees up Bella hugged the pillow. "Was the party really amazing?" she asked hopefully.

"Urgh, so good Bells. You should have been there."

Biting her lip she frowned, "I don't think I was invited."

"Huh. Who cares? I wasn't either. But don't worry, I've got cred with the guys."

"How?" she asked innocently as she sniffed the bag of weed that had fallen onto her bed from my jeans.

"For me to know, and for your virgin ears to never find out," I laughed as I rolled from the bed.

Getting up I grabbed the small bag, stuffed it in my pocket and kissed Bella on the forehead in a rare show of emotions. "I'm going to bed. Love you kid."

"You too," Bella blushed as she gave a small wave.


	14. Chapter 14

After pancakes, a walk on the beach and scoring a couple of weaved bracelets over at the reservation; I dropped Bella off at the station to Charlie and headed home.

I sat in the car staring at the guy sitting on the porch for a long time before I even contemplated moving from my spot.

His messy hair blew across his forehead softly and his eyes were pleading with me to say something, to forgive him.

Slamming the car door I stomped past Edward and in to the house, peeling off the layers of clothes as I went.

By the time Edward had found the courage to enter the house and find me, I was already changed and snuggled deep into my cold sheets.

He didn't say anything as he removed his coat and kicked off his shoes.

His deep breathing became even closer as he edged up the blanket and slid in.

I sighed as his legs tangled with mine, his socks warming my feet while the rest of him warmed other places of my body.

"I love you," he whispered as he kissed my hair and wrapped an arm around my waist.

I didn't reply as I closed my eyes and sunk into his warm body. Every inch of my skin was desperately trying to soak up his warmth and when the tears came, there was nothing anyone could do to stop them.

"Shhh, don't cry. I'm here, I promise. I'll always be here."

His voice soothed and strickened my emotions all the way to the bone.

Edward was killing me and neither of us knew it.


	15. Chapter 15

**Sent**: [ECullen**at**college. harvard. edu]

**To**: [TinyDancer**at**Lotusmail. com]

**Subject**: Transformers

.

Hey Tiny,

I miss you so much. The guys here are cool but I miss my best friend.

Eric, the guy I was telling you about from my Physics class saw your photo today on my phone.

He liked you instantly.

I told him to back off though because you belong to me :)

The classes are hard and I miss Thursday movie nights. It sucks because Eric is nowhere near as pretty as you are.

The joys of college I guess.

The campus is nice even though my dorm is a mess. I guess my mother really did baby me while I was at home.

It snows here Lee, like _actually_ snows. It gets dark during the day and sometimes I miss the rain like you wouldn't believe. I think I miss _us_ more though.

I better get back to it. Four assignments due in two days. Wish me luck.

~E

.

**Sent**: [TinyDancer**at**Lotusmail. com]

**To**: [ECullen**at**college. harvard. edu]

**Subject**: Re: Transformers

.

Edward,

I miss you too. Sorry I missed a couple of your calls. I've been doing this thing which involves me actually working for money.

It's a small company in Seattle and I work over the weekends and stay with my cousin Emily who works at a local kindergarten.

During the week I come home and pick up some shifts through Charlie. Just paperwork stuff.

Tell Eric he's sweet... but it's not going to happen.

Thursday nights have been replaced with Bella nights. We're starting to hang out more and it's nice. Who knew the kid had a personality?

I really have to go, so I'll speak with you soon. Money beckons and all that jazz.

Hopefully I'll have enough to buy that plane ticket to Boston soon.

I've never seen snow before.

The family says 'Hi'.

Luck.

Love Tiny.


	16. Chapter 16

Sitting at the diner with Bella we poured as much syrup as we could onto our waffles without managing to submerge them.

"I really want to try chicken n waffles," she stated as she concentrated on trying not to spill anything on the vinyl table. "I think they would somehow be awesome."

"You're crazy," I chuckled as I forked another bite full off. "But somehow your argument is valid."

After half an hour of goofing off and swapping tragic high school stories I noticed Bella clam up and start to blush.

Glancing over my shoulder I noticed a blonde haired senior glancing in the direction of our table.

"Friend of yours?" I asked with a raised brow and a smirk on my face.

"No," she gushed like a child. "He kinda of asked me to the spring dance."

"Well, well, well. Looks like little Bella's got an admirer."

"Shut up!" she blushed slapping my arm.

Glancing again I noticed the football jumper, the boyish smile and the great looking body.

"He's got a nice butt. You said yes, right?"

"What? No, I said I'd think about it," Bella squirmed as she hid her face in her hands.

"Is he nice? What's with the Bieber hair?" I snorted as Bella peeked through her fingers.

"He's okay. Has anyone asked you to the dance yet? I bet you have lots of guys wanting to take you."

Shaking my head I spoke truthfully. "Nope. No offers."

"What about Edward? Have you called him? Maybe he wants to visit?"

Groaning I slapped my hand against my forehead. "Edward just started his first semester. He won't be able to make it."

"If you don't ask, you'll never know," Bella grinned.

Straightening up I frowned, "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Quickly finishing my waffles I threw some money down and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry Leah. I promise I'll never bring it up. I just know how much he means to you and I thought-"

"Stop it Bella. Just. Stop," I growled as I snatched my hand away and headed back home.


	17. Chapter 17

_Warning: Implied sexual abuse_

* * *

><p>"Emily I'm leaving," I called to my cousin as I grabbed her car keys from the bench.<p>

Popping her head from the bathroom she waved me off with a mouth full of paste.

Working weekends and after school seemed to be the only thing that could take my mind off Edward and the absence he'd left. While I was struggling in my school work I was quickly making a name for myself professionally.

Driving down the dingy roads I pulled into the car park at my place of employment. 'The Black Cat' was a hole in the wall club that allowed underage girls work for extra money.

A lot of the customers were old and wealthy business types who enjoyed the power of having so many females around them. The younger the better was the motto.

The youngest one of us was Jane, who was fifteen. I was lucky to be the only Forks area resident so I had no worries in staying fairly anonymous.

All of the girls used different names and none of us associated with each other. We just did our part and took our cash pays without a word.

Demetri had some of the older girl's work the private booths while the younger ones stayed in pairs and served drinks.

"Where the hell have you been?" Demetri growled as I walked through the door.

"I had to wait to borrow my cousin's car," I stuttered back.

"It better be the last time," he said, eying me down before he waved me away and finished his whiskey.

"It will be," I muttered as I made my way back into the dressing room.

"Lee," Jane sung happily as she bustled toward me in the tiniest black dress I had ever seen.

Trisha noticed my state and snorted, "Demetri's having some kind of function tonight here at the club. He wants us to wear this shit to look more sophisticated or something," she sneered butting out her cigarette in a makeup pad.

"At least it's not the usual bra and thong," Jane snapped back as she hugged my waist.

"Hey," I smiled as I peeled Jane off me.

"At least it covers almost everything right?" Jane whispered as she spun.

"Yeah, almost."

Smiling tightly I snagged a dress off the hanger and changed.

After slipping on my heels I studied myself in the mirror. Instead of looking seventeen, I looked at least twenty three. Dark makeup lined my eyes and red lipstick shone brightly off my mouth.

Tugging at my stockings I smoothed out the hem and pulled out the tie in my hair to let my hair out.

I'd already saved a thousand dollars in the last four weeks. Soon I'd be able to drop out of school and move to Boston to be closer to Edward.

"Alright girls, time to get this party started. There will be big business floating around tonight so I expect you to all shake those asses and dig deep," James clapped as he ushered all of the girls from the changing rooms.

Between serving drinks and having my ass slapped I made over three hundred dollars on just tips alone. So when James offered me a private booth with a thousand dollars guaranteed I took it.

Extra money meant seeing Edward sooner and it was the one thing I'd do anything for.

Following James, he led me down to the back booth at the far end of the club.

"This one's a big spender. Asked for you personally. I suggest you give him the time of his life."

Peking back the curtain James nudged me inside and fixed the cloth.

Feeling unsure of myself I fiddled with the material of my dress. A feeling of unease spread over me as I spotted a well groomed dollop of bright blonde hair.

"Come closer," his deep familiar voice crooned.

Swallowing I stepped forward as I rubbed my neck.

As he stood and placed his glass down all I could do was blink. His grey eyes where hard and callous, his mouth turned down into a sneer.

"Has anyone ever told you what a beautiful woman you are becoming," his forked tongue whispered as he ran his index finger down my arm.

Flinching, I tried to calm my beating heart by taking deep breaths but it wasn't working.

"I can see now why my son has taken an interest in you."

I shivered as his lips climbed my throat and his hands crept to the inside of my stockings.

"So soft, so smooth," he gasped, touching the satin between my legs.

Closing my eyes tightly I allowed him to do as he wished. Whatever happened in this room would never leave.

"You will never be worth more than what you are now," he growled into my ear and took what no man had ever had before.


	18. Chapter 18

**Bella POV**

I knocked on the door until my knuckles became numb. The door had been locked ever since she'd come back from her secretary job in Seattle. It was a long bus ride and Leah seemed to be able to do it with ease, until now.

It was lucky mom and dad weren't home because the crying had started soon after. Heart wrenching sobs and tiny screams for forgiveness could be heard all through our tiny house.

"Leah, please open the door," I begged for the fiftieth time.

"Go away and leave me to die," she rasped through sobs.

It broke my heart to hear her crying after so many years of seeing the strong, confident Leah. I wasn't used to being on the other end of the spectrum.

Knocking again I heard the lock unclick and slowly took the opportunity to slide into the small room.

Chunks of hair lay on the floor; all of Leah's long raven hair spread around the bathroom floor like a child had taken its almighty revenge on a disobediant doll.

My breath caught in my throat as I spied her huddled in a corner of the room.

Her hands shook around the pair of barber scissors she held and her head was buried between her up pulled knees.

After coercing the sharp object from her hands I ran her a bath and helped her in, providing what comfort I could.

Washing her back tenderly it was my hands turn to shake.

Day old bruises littered her golden skin though she didn't flinch once as I ran over them with the wet cloth. Some had already begun to turn a sickly yellow colour though others were still black and purple.

When I had finished washing her body I tried to tidy up as much of the hair as I could, leaving her with the best cut I could manage.

Dressing her and helping her into bed I sat quietly near her head and brushed down the short ends.

"I know you don't want to talk about it Lee, but I'm here if you need me," I whispered as stray tears fell from my eyes.

Fresh tears fell her cheeks as she moved her head into my lap and she hugged my leg.

"I'll never hurt you Leah."

Looking up at me she squeezed my hand. "You promise."

"I promise," I nodded, leaning down to kiss her head.

Once morning came and our parents came home, I explained what had happened and what I had seen.

Dad was murderous and wanted to burst into Leah's room and demand what happened while she was away. At least mom had the decency to calm him down, knowing Leah would bury it all if he pushed too hard.

In the weeks that followed we all kept a close eye on her, waiting and watching to see if she cracked.

She never did.


	19. Chapter 19

Pacing the room I called his cell phone again.

_'Hi. You've reached Edward. I can't make it to the phone, so leave your name and number and I'll call you back.'_

"Edward, it's me. _Again_. Can you please call me back? Oh and it's Leah."

Hanging up I tried the number again.

_'Hi. You've reached Edward-'_

"Fuck," I shouted, slamming the phone shut not caring who would hear me.

I tried over twenty times with no reply.

Slumping against the wall I slowly slid down it and cried until I couldn't breathe. I kicked my dresser over and over again until my foot became numb just to release some of the anger I had trapped inside of me.

Gathering a bag I threw as many clothes as I could into it and stormed down stairs.

I hadn't known anyone was home until Charlie stood in front of the door, blocking my exit.

"Move," I hissed, trying to find a way around his bulky form.

"Where are you going and what's the bag for?" he asked calmly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I'm going to see a friend," I shouted, throwing my bag on the floor.

"That friend wouldn't happen to live in Boston would he?" Charlie smirked as I felt a large weight come over my chest. "Why don't you wait until your mother gets home and we can discuss this as a family?"

"You are _not_ my father. You have no right to keep me here!" I wailed in disbelief.

Of all the times for Charlie to grow balls, he chose now.

"I'll detain you if I have to, little girl," he shot back with authority in his voice.

"Bullshit! On what charges?"

"At the moment you are a danger to yourself and a danger to others. You're not thinking straight. Why don't we just take a seat and-"

"Don't touch me," I growled as his hand clamped around my upper arm.

Trying to pull away was no use.

"I don't want to hurt you Leah. But I will subdue you if I think you're going to hurt yourself."

Screaming and kicking Charlie picked me up and deposited me on the recliner.

"Calm down sweetie, its okay. It's going to be alright," he gently cooed as he brushed his hand over my head.

"I don't want to," I sobbed as I clung to his sleeve feeling the weight crush me even further. "I can't breathe without _him_. I can't."

"Hush baby. You're going to be alright. It will pass. Big deep breaths."

"No," I choked. "I _can't_. It hurts."

"I'm here honey. We are all here."

The weight of his words pushed me deeper into a drowning abyss.

Rain clouds built inside my heart and it took everything in me to hold on and not let the pain take me.


	20. Chapter 20

**Edward POV**

**IM Chat**

_ECullen logged on_

_TinyDancer logged on_

_..._

EC: Hey beautiful. Glad I could catch you.

TD: You haven't returner any of my calls.

EC: Sorry babe, new sim, new number. I was going to tell you earlier but it with all my classes it slipped my mind. :(

TD: Huh. That's alright I guess.

EC: Are you mad?

TD: ...No. I miss you.

EC: Aww I miss you too.

TD: Are you still coming home for Christmas?

EC: Actually, the medicine department is taking all the pre-meds to NYC baby. But I'm really trying to make it back for your birthday ;)

TD: Oh. Okay.

EC: How are you anyways? It feels like it's been forever.

TD: Fine...

EC: I'm good too, thanks for asking *insert eyeroll*. Tanya says Hi.

TD: Who's Tanya?

EC: Someone special. Wait till you meet her Lee. You'll love her.

...

EC: Hello? You there?

_TinyDancer logged off_

_._

"Huh?" I muttered as I checked my rooms Wi-Fi link.

"What's wrong?" Tanya drawled in my ear as her arms snaked around me.

"Something must have happened. It just cut out," I replied, rubbing my girlfriends forearm.

"I think it's so adorable," she whispered into my ear making the hairs on my neck stand.

"What?" I smirked as she buzzed her nose against my cheek.

"That you think she's not in love with you."

Turning my computer chair around I puller Tanya onto my lap. "We've been friend's forever babe. She's not in love with me."

"Does she still wear the ring you gave her," my girl questioned as she spun my silver band around my finger.

"Yeah, she does." I frowned, not following her conclusion.

Kissing between my brows she sighed. "Trust me. As long as she wears that ring, she'll never belong to anyone else."


	21. Chapter 21

**Sue POV**

"Leah, honey?" I whispered as I took a seat on the corner of her bed.

All my baby did was hiccup and turn to me, bottom lip quivering and tears rimming her dark lashes.

"He's not coming, is he?" she croaked as I rubbed her back over the thin sheet.

Shaking my head I watched as she sobbed lightly and curled even further into the sheets.

"This came in the post. It's post marked from Boston."

Lying the present on her dresser I kissed the back of her head and left her in bed.

"Still nothing?" Charlie asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

Scrubbing another dish I moved it from the soapy water to the rack. "I don't know what to do. All she does is cry."

"You want me to kill the Cullen kid for her," my husband offered in all seriousness.

"That's not going to solve our problem. Though I wish it would," I replied back as I ran the soap from my hands.

"Love can be a bitch to deal with. Give her some more time."

Though my husband was right, I hated to see one of the girls in so much pain. "I just want my daughter back."

Kissing my shoulder Charlie nodded, "Me too baby. Me too."


	22. Chapter 22

"There is no way you can eat _all_ of those sticky buns," I pleaded with Edward, giving him my best puppy dog eyes ever.

Giving me a winning smile Edward tugged me down onto the grass next to him. "You can't possibly know that by just looking at me. There's no perceptible difference between us."

Poking his side I whined into his shirt and bit his arm.

"Ouch," he hissed rubbing at the bite.

"The problem isn't the way you look. It's your perception," I grinned as I reached for a bun and shoved it in my mouth.

"That's it. You're going to get it now." Edward growled playfully as he reached out and grabbed my sides.

"Noog... Efward don't," I spluttered with a mouthful of sugar delight as I tried to get away from him.

Swallowing quickly I crawled across the grass toward safety. Eward seemed to give me a head start until he yanked on my ankle and slid me backward toward him.

Crawling over me, Edward used his body to box me in, while I panted and tried to lick at the sugar over my lips.

"I should tickle you to death for that stunt," Edward whisphered as he brushed back my hair and splayed his fingers across the hollow of my throat.

"What are you doing?" I asked as his fingers brushed my neck and fell across my ear.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend, Leah? Honestly."

Looking away from Edward I shrugged. "I dont know. I've never needed one before."

Clearing his throat and standing up Edward reached out and pulled me up, dusting off the grass caught on my shirt.


	23. Chapter 23

Sitting in the coffee shop I waited at the table as Bella ordered the usual.

It felt colder than usual in the shop so I retired my scarf and let my hair down.

It drizzled lightly outside and the pavement looked wet, small reflective puddles starting to form.

My heart felt heavy as usual but I pulled myself together, enough to entertain my sister for at least the afternoon.

"Hey, you mind if I borrow some of your sugar?" A large dark haired man smiled as he pointed to the packets on the table. "The waitress forgot to re-stock my table."

"Sure, take as much as you like," I smiled back, unable to stop his happiness from infecting me.

"I'm Felix by the way," he stated, holding out a large hand for me to take.

"Leah."

"Well Leah, thank you so much for the sugar."

Looking up I watched as his face dropped slightly. Not wanting to feel like a complete bitch I nodded and smiled again.

"Any time."

I couldn't help but watch him shuffle out the door. He was a tall guy, burly too and it made me chuckle as he instinctively ducked through the doorway.

"Are you smiling?" Bella asked as she took a seat and set down the two foam cups.

"Ah, yeah," I muttered as I took a sip of the steaming hot drink.

"Was it that guy?" she smirked as she looked around the coffee house. "He looked kinda scary but in a big cuddly bear type of way."

"He was nice," I said, defending my new acquaintance in his absence.

"Huh," Bella chuckled as she blew the edge of her cup.

"What do you mean, huh," I shot back.

"Nothing," she laughed as she shook her head and grasped my hand. "Just nice to see you smile is all."


	24. Chapter 24

"Hey Leah," Mike grinned as he plopped down on the couch with a bag of chips.

Wrapping an arm around Bella's shoulders he chuckled lightly as he watched her turn bright red.

"Mike," I exclaimed, rolling my eyes and pulling my blanket up a little hirer.

Eventually six months after the school dance Mike and Bella finally found the guts to tell our parents they were official.

Our mom couldn't stop gushing and hugging Bella while Charlie got all Robocop and began cleaning his gun. Just in case, he'd told us.

They were fine with Mike stopping by as long as I played the role of chaperone. Not that I expected anything different.

"Hey Leah, some of the guys want to know if your dating again," Mike asked as he whisked his blonde hair to the side and stuffed his mouth with a handful of chips.

I sneered, discussed at his ill manners, only to soften at Bella's pleading look.

"What guys?" I questioned with the least malice I could manage.

"Well there's Tim, Brady, Eric, Jonesy, Karmicheal, Dylan-"

"She gets it Mike," Bella huffed as she too noticed several crumbs fall from his mouth.

"Right," he grinned. "They all begged me to ask. I told them to back off but they wanted to know if the college guy was still in the picture."

My breath caught in my throat.

"The Cullen kid, damn, what was his name? Eddo, no, Edwin-"

"Edward," I offered softly as I pulled up my knees and blinked rapidly.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Mike," Bella groaned as she hid her face in her hands.

"What?" he asked, clearing his throat and glancing back and forth between us. "Oh, did you guys have a bad break up or something?"

"I'm thirsty, you guys want anything?" If looks could kill, Mike would be a dead man by now.

Getting up from the couch I shuffled toward the kitchen and pulled out the carton of juice.

Peeling back the sides I gulped a large portion down to try and distract myself from the tears.

Hearing the phone ring was a great distraction.

"Hello?"

"Hey sugar girl," a deep voice chuckled. "I don't know if you remember me from the coffee house or not. I'm sure you meet a lot of guys there but I'm hoping you do. I got your number from Embry, the guy that works there. Six foot something, gunge looking kid. Sorry I'm ranting," he apologised, clearing his throat.

"No. I mean yes. Yes, I remember you. Felix, right?" I smiled as I twisted my finger in the cord.

"Right. That's me. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to grab some coffee. On me of course. Unless your busy or-"

"I'd love to," I said, cutting him off and leaving him silent. "Hello?"

"Sorry. I just can't believe that worked. I thought women only said yes in movies."

"Why did you call then?" I chuckled as I leant against the bench.

"Guess I thought I'd take a chance." Even through the phone I could hear him smile.

"Well your chance paid off. Are you free now?"

"Ah, let me just check. Meeting at two, three, and five... Of course I'm free."

I laughed at his playfulness and glanced at the teenage couple in the living room. They'd surely be fine without me for a couple of hours.

"I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah, soon."


	25. Chapter 25

As I walked past the decorated store window with my hands tucked into my coat, the blaring green and red lights are hard to miss.

A giant Santa sits in the front of the display while his loyal minions of elf workers danced and sung tunes around him. Wrapped presents scatter the underneath of a beautifully designed tree and I couldn't help but smile at the small name tag affixed to each one.

"Leah!" A sweet voice called making me turn my head quickly.

The loud patter of sneakers slapped against the pavement hurriedly. Crouching down I held my arms out to catch the bubbly seven year old. His black hair swept past my cheeks as his light weight collided with mine.

Picking him up I hoisted him onto my hip and ruffled those familiar locks. He was the splitting image of his father and my heart warmed as he clung to my neck.

"Dad and I are shopping for your Christmas present," he explained as he pointed to the store front.

"Really? I bet it's beautiful," I chuckled back as I headed to where his excited arm pointed.

"It is. I wanted to get you a cubby house but dad said the apartment was too small," he frowned as he picked at the ends of my hair in such a childlike way.

"I promise when we get a house with a yard, you can buy me a tree house instead and anything you want," I grinned at the little boy as he suddenly perked up at my suggestion.

"Deal," he nodded.

"Fancy seeing you here," Felix's deep voice drawled as he tucked away a small bag and walked towards us. "You wouldn't be trying to see what you're getting for Christmas now, would you?"

Laughing I shook my head and leaned into him as he kissed me. With his teeth softly chewing my lip I almost forgot about the boy clinging to my hip.

"Eww gross. Girl germs," Jordan stated as he scrunched his nose at our display of affection.

Chuckling, Felix hoisted his son from me and ruffled his hair. "Trust me kid, this is one girl that's worth it."

I couldn't help but slap his arm and blush as I tucked myself into his side.

As we walked towards our apartment Jordan told us about how tonight Santa would travel around the world with his sled and reindeer to deliver presents to every single boy and girl as they slept.

His chatter only began to calm down once he was in his pyjamas and tucked into his warm bed. Even though our two bedroom apartment is small, we'd made sure that Jordan had his own room for when he came to stay.

Brushing away his black hair from his forehead I read to him the story book my father had read me when I was a baby.

I couldn't remember my father's voice anymore, but reading the words gave me some solace that even though he was gone, he was with me.

"_The Quileute's have been a small people from the beginning. And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. _

_This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn't always the magic of shape-shifting — that came later. First, we were spirit warriors."_

By the end of the story Jordan was sleeping soundly, today's big shopping adventure leaving him completely wiped. Tucking his blanket a little higher I kissed his forehead gingerly as not to wake him.

Making my way to our room I slumped down on the bed and huffed. Tomorrow would be Christmas and Felix and I still had presents to wrap for a much loved little boy.

"I'm tired," I grumbled as Felix sat at the end of the bed and hoisted my feet into his lap.

"Come on lazy bug, we can wrap them fast and then snuggle," he laughed as his knuckles dug into the arch of my foot. I let out a shameful moan and pouted like a two year old.

After a quick foot rub, Felix dragged me to my feet and ushered me into the living room.

We set up a system of him wrapping while I was in charge of cutting pieces of tape and wrapping ribbon to add the finishing touches.

It was one thirty in the morning before when we both finally hit the mattress. Feeling his body pressed against mine made me feel warm and safe and I couldn't help but count along with the beats of his heart.

"Merry Christmas, Leah," Felix yawned as he kissed my head. "I love you."


	26. Chapter 26

Edward POV

"So doc, what's the verdict?" the man who introduced himself as Felix asked.

Moving the pen light from one hazel iris to the other I sighed and tucked it away in my breast pocket. "A slight case of amnesia but I think the memories will return over time," I explained keeping my eye on Leah.

Even with a split in her lip and bruising under her eyes she looked exactly the same as when I'd left Forks.

Guilt consumed me as I thought about the time that had passed between us. With the day in day out pressures of college and my whirlwind romance with Tanya I hadn't made enough time for the one woman that knew me and loved me all the same.

"Do you mind if I have a word with Leah, alone," I pointedly glared at Felix.

It was obvious he wanted to reject my request, that is, until Leah nodded and spoke. "It's okay, I'll be fine," she smiled sweetly up at him as he kissed her forehead but kept his eyes on me.

"I'll just be out that door," he assured her as I raised my eyebrow in challenge. Maybe he knew who I was, maybe he didn't. All that mattered was that he would never know Leah like I did. No one would.

Taking a stool I rolled it towards the bed and took a seat beside my oldest friend. I watched as she twiddled her thumbs in her lap and idly chewed her bottom lip into her mouth.

"Leah?" I prompted as I picked up her slightly trembling hand. "Do you remember me?"

As her eyes came up she searched my face, focusing on my eyes.

Squeezing her hand I silently prompted her to answer me.

"I think so," she replied quietly as she looked back down at our joined hands. Following her gaze I noticed what I'd been doing unconsciously. Her right hand was graced with a simple silver band. The same band I'd gotten her for her fifteenth birthday, almost ten years ago.

Fat tears began to roll down her cheeks as she watched my fingers slowly turn the thin band.

"Edward?" she spluttered as she wiped her cheek.

Standing I took her in my arms and rocked her to me. With her hands grasping the front of my coat she sobbed into my chest.

"I'm here honey, I'm here," I hushed trying to calm her shaking form.

"I never thought I'd see you again. I never thought-" she choked as she tried to fight against the wails.

"I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere."

Sitting alone in the room until her cries became soft sobs I rocked her. With her warm body and that unmistakable scent of water lilies and the ocean I let myself sink further into her. Sink further into that familiar feeling of being complete.

After I ordered her to get some rest and kissed her temple promising I'd be back I left the room in search of coffee for the long night ahead.

"You broke her heart, you know that right?" Felix announced from a row of plastic chairs as he sipped a cup of vender coffee. He knew who I was and he wanted to hurt me.

"I can't break something I've never owned," I snapped back as I eyed his calm demeanour.

While he seemed calm, his face was drawn out and his eyes were bloodshot. Even though he tried to elude the look of an impartial man, he looked just as distressed as I felt.

"She doesn't remember the night of the accident," he huffed as he sunk his hands in his midnight black hair.

Clucking my tongue, I rolled my eyes and shoved some quarters in the vending machine. I didn't want to pity him in any way; I pitied myself enough for the both of us.

Watching the cup drop and hearing the machine start to heat and boil the water, I turned toward him. He wasn't Leah's type, not in the slightest, yet somehow he was a part of her life when I wasn't. He had been privilege while I let my chance be squandered away.

"I love her, you know," he muttered as he closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

"Great," I said, glaring at the machine and wishing it would hurry the hell up.

"I just can't - I can't abandon my ex-wife. She means everything to my son and she needs me."

Turning on my heel I glanced at the man, disbelieving what I was hearing.

"The night of the accident I tried to break it to Leah as easy as I could. I wanted her to know that no matter what, it wasn't anything that she had done to make me decide to go back to Florida. I told her about Kate and she wouldn't even let me touch her. She wouldn't let me explain."

"You broke up with Leah to go back to your ex-wife?" I stated as I swiped my coffee from the small holding cell.

"I didn't have a choice. Kate has a tumor and it's progressing fast. The mother of my child is dying and she needs me to be there. For her, and for my son," he whispered as his fingers flexed around the foam cup.

My eyes softened as I thought about his dilemma. He could either stay with Leah and be happy or take care of his ex and give her happiness in the last days of her life ultimately giving his son extra time with his mother.

"I'm sorry," I answered sincerely as I took a seat across the man.

"That's not even the best bit," he sniffled as he looked up into my eyes. "Leah doesn't remember any of it. I'm going to have to tell her all over again. Break her heart all over again. Doing it the first time was hard enough."

I nodded as I took a sip of the cup.

"I can't do it again," he said lowly as his voice cracked.

As the day drew on I spent the rest of my shift watching over Leah as she slept. Sue, Charlie and Bella had checked in on her several times until I insisted they go back to their hotel and get some rest.

I never did see Felix again.


	27. Chapter 27

"How long will you be away?" Edward asked as he scuffed the toe of his shoe further into the old grey carpet of my bedroom. At the rate the boy left treads on my flooring, my mother would be sure to soon charge the Cullen's.

Sighing and rolling my eyes I dropped my dufflebag to the floor and sat on the bed, pulling Edward down with me.

"Two weeks. Can you last without me for two weeks my handsome little bug?" I teased as I pinched Edward's cheek, mimicking my Aunt to perfection. Aunt Lou was a big woman with a big heart and personality to boot. She was also the woman that was taking Bella and I while my mum and Charlie went on an adults only holiday.

Slapping my hand away he cracked a smile, albeit small. "Of course I'll survive." he nodded solemnly. "Jus' that it's going to be quiet around here without you."

Cooing, I pushed his shoulder with mine. "Thats so sweet. I knew you loved me."

Scoffing and pushing back Edward scrunched his face. "I do not _love_ you, Leah."

"You so do," I nudged again, this time drawing closer like the cocky little she-bitch I was (Aunt Lou's words, not mine.)

"You love me and you would do anything to be my boy. Come on, say it."

"No. I'm not going to say anything," Edward challenged as he went to get off the bed in a huff.

Grasping him by the wrists I pulled him back down to the bed. I could feel him getting ready to push me off him so I cocked my leg over and strattled his waist, effectively pinning him to the bed.

"Get off me." Edward grunted as he tried to struggle against my flat palms, his cheeks turning a crimson red as he giggled. Even though my best friend was two years older than me, at fourteen, I was way more athletic than him.

"Say it, or I'll tickle you to death." I grinned as I hovered over him, my dark hair falling around the sides of his face. His green eyes sparkled through his glasses and I found myself wondering what it would feel like to kiss a boy in this exact same position for my first time.

I grinned evilly.

Edward immediately bucked as I dug my fingertips into his ribs. Within seconds I had him screaming uncle and telling me what I wanted to hear.

"Fine. FINE! Stop it. I love you, Leah. I love you so much," he howled in laughter as I scrapped along his sides with glee.

"Please," he moaned, half laughing, half crying at the torture I was inflicting.

Smiling at his defeat I winked at him and collapsed beside him, our legs still twisted together and our faces only inches apart.

"I knew you loved me." I stated obviously as I fluffed my hair to the side.

Holding his torso Edward scowled at me. "I hate when you do that." he grumbled as he pulled his legs free and sat up on the bed.

"You're just sour because you lost," I said, poking my tongue and not understanding his sudden change in mood.

"Exactly. Why does everything with you have to be about winning and losing. Why can't we just be what we are?"

"Huh?" I asked, completely lost in his phrasing. "And what exactly are we?"

"Forget it." he sighed as he brushed his hand through his hair and adjusted his glasses.

"What do you mean forget it? You can't just," and then I was silenced by Edward's mouth on mine.

With wide eyes and Edward's hand fisted in my hair I froze. His lips pressed desperately against mine in an attempt to gain a response but the only thing I could do was remain still.

After a few seconds the clearing of a throat sounded and we were suddenly meters apart.

Trying to fight the crimson flush across my face I turned to find my step dad propped against my bedroom door.

Charlie frowned as he looked between us. "Your mom's ready to go."

Edward cursed under his breathe and stared at the floor, obviously as lost for words as myself.

"Okay," I managed to squeak as I rubbed my neck in embarrassment.

"I better go. My dads waiting for me at the hospital." Edward mumbled as he grabbed a stack of books from my desk. "Thanks for the, um, books."

He moved so fast past Charlie I barely had time to let my brain catch up and kick my feet into gear.

Before I could follow after him, Charlie caught my elbow softly, sympathy swirling in his eyes. "We need to talk about what just happened here." he announced uncomfortably.

I sighed defeatedly hearing the slam of the front door.

After Charlie's attempted speech about love, the sanctity of marriage and the fact he could load his shotgun with his eyes closed I made my way down to my mother. Her smile at hearing the conversation was present and she patted my cheek in support. I was thankful she didn't mention anything and allowed my muddled emotions to collect themselves.

The two week stay with my Aunt Lou and my younger step sister gave me space to think over the kiss and what it meant.

Unfortunately, by the time Bella and I arrived back from Utah, Edward had found a girlfriend in Alice Brandon.


	28. Chapter 28

Rubbing my eyes I cracked open the front door to find a soaking wet Leah drenched from head to toe.

"Jesus," I hissed, pulling her inside and out of the freezing cold rain. "What the hell are you doing?" I questioned as I tugged the jacket open and over her shoulders.

"I had a dream. You were in it," she mumbled as she wiped the water from her eyes. "We were standing on the edge of a cliff and you just jumped in," she sniffled as she wiped her nose, her hands shaking.

"And you came to check if I was okay?" I concluded, trying to bite back a shit eating grin.

"It's not funny, asshole," she hissed in embarrassment. "I had to make sure."

Grabbing a towel from the hall I tried my best to avert my eyes as she peeled off her soaked tee and stood in nothing but her bra and jeans.

Accepting the towel from me I could see her shiver and goose bumps raise on her skin. In her frail condition so soon after the accident it wasn't wise to be pushing her already healing body beyond the brink.

"You're freezing. Come here, before you get pneumonia." I whispered softly as I pulled her into my arms. The wetness of her body had me hissing softly as I pulled her to me, my hands working over her towel covered back."How did you even get here?"

"I walked from my apartment," she shrugged nonchalantly as if the twenty mile distance was nothing.

Shaking my head I kissed her temple, trying to keep her as close to me as possible. It really did feel good after so many years. "What am I going to do with you?" I chuckled.

"Bella will be worried. I left without telling her."

I nodded in understanding. After the accident and Felix's disappearance, Leah's sister had taken it upon herself to stay and help with anything and everything. From the physiotherapists to the speech pathologist that were helping with Leah's selective amnesia, Bella was there.

"I'll give her a call," I promised.

Sitting on the recliner I watched as she slept. Her mouth was slightly parted, her hair in disarray and her light snores filling the silence of the living space. Grabbing my cell from the coffee table I dialed the apartment number.

"Leah?" the frantic voice of Bella sounded desperately in my ear.

"No, it's Edward."

"Edward, oh God. She's there again?"

"Yeah, she's here. I've got her."

Bella's voice and breathing calmed significantly at the admission. "That's the third time this week," she groaned.

"It's fine, Bella. More than fine," I said truthfully as I glanced at my childhood friend and the only person in the whole world that I'd hurt more than anything.

"Do you want me to come and get her? I could be there in 15 minutes or so?"

"It's really fine. She'll be okay here for the night. Why don't you come by in the morning? Join us for breakfast."

After a moment of silence she agreed. "Sure, that will be lovely."


	29. Chapter 29

A knock at the door sounded, causing me to wipe away my tears.

"Hey," A loud, rowdy voice shouted, knocking again on the locked door. "Open up. I need to use the can."

Grumbling and getting to my feet, I kicked the empty bottle of liquor toward the tub.

Scowling, I reached to open the door.

"Can't you piss on the lawn or something?" I growled into the chest of a huge guy. He smelt woodsy and the faintest smell of fire wafted off him.

"Clearwater?" he mumbled as I looked up to glare at the monster blocking my way.

Long gone was the baby face and the long silky hair, and all that stood before me was the hard face of a delicious man with short cropped hair.

"Jacob?" I frowned, studying all that he was worth. God he'd grown. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" he challenged back like the little prick I knew him to be. It had been easily eight years since I'd last seen him in LaPush. I'd also vaguely remembered him from several of Paul Lahote's famous parties on the reservation. Our parents had been friends growing up, though I didn't socialise with the kid.

"Ugh - This is _my_ house."

A look of confusion spread across his face.

"You live here?" he laughed after a minute, as a tirade of drunk guys made their way down the hall, one in nothing but his birthday suit, several others with tennis rackets. "This place is a dump."

"Fuck off, Black." I growled, spinning back around to check my face in the mirror.

I looked and felt like shit. After the call to Edward my emotions were running freely and I just wanted to tell everyone to piss off so I could be alone.

"You always have parties as wild as this?" he questioned as he stepped inside the small bathroom, closing the door just a little, effectively blocking some of the loud music from down stairs.

I shrugged as I washed my face under the cool water. "I guess so."

"Hm." He mumbled, taking a sip of his beer. "How've you been anyway?"

_How much time do you have?_

"Fine."

Keeping my answers simple would hopefully get rid of the always-ready-for-a-chat-Jacob.

"I saw your mom last month when I got back from Germany," he grinned as he placed his beer down and dug a hand into his leather jacket.

"Great."

Pulling a cigarette from his jacket he offered me one to which I gladly accepted. Jacob Black was cunning like that. Bribing me with goodies.

Placing it in his mouth, he lit the end and blew out a thick cloud of smoke.

"You still dancing?" he asked flippantly as he stared at me through those trademark Black eyelashes.

"Depends on the kind of dancing you mean," I grumbled, snatching the lighter from his hand.

"You know which kind I mean. All that dance stuff you did as a kid. Ballet and all that fruity shit," he smiled.

Rolling my eyes I slouched against the sink as I took a much needed drag. My mother always told me smoking would kill me. My mother could go burn in Hell.

"Nope. Gave it all up when I realised that dancing with _no_ clothes, actually pays better."

I wanted to laugh at his concerned face but I kept my cool. It wasn't that I was proud of being _that_ kind of a dancer; it was just that I didn't care anymore.

"So, what was in Germany?" I asked as I picked at my chipped nail polish.

"I was stationed there for 18 months after serving in Beirut." he explained as he put out his cigarette in my soap bowl. "You want to get out of here?"

"And go where?" I glared, watching as he stood up and ran a hand through his hair.

"Does it matter?" he scoffed as he looked at me definantly.

"And how exactly are we getting to this place?"

"My bikes down stairs."

The thought of a grown up Jacob Black riding a motorcycle almost had my stomach doing flips.

"Fuck yeah, let's go."

My mother always told me riding on motorbikes would kill me. Luckily, I didn't give a fuck about what she thought.


	30. Chapter 30

Everything hurt.

"Come now girls. _Assemblé_. Make sure to keep your foward foot strong. _Battement glissé_. Keep you ankles tight as you land into fourth position." Ms Marie taunted as she stepped around each girl in the group, balancing hips and adjusting slouched elbows as she went.

"Stop, stop, stop. You are all terrible. Magdelina, you are a ballerina, not an elephant," she hissed as she wiped her fogged glasses with the bright yellow sash she wore to every class. "Leah, please be a dear and show them all how a real artist dances a ballet."

Taking centre stage I pointed my toes out, keeping an elongated back and neck, while adjusting my arms into position.

I knew the rest of the girls hated me for being one of Ms Marie's top students, though I didn't mind; even when I was the only one in the class not invited to weekend sleepovers and birthday parties. My mom's friend Sarah had told me that all girls do that at our age and that one day they will all be old hags, so I shouldn't worry.

"Excellent. Let us _all_ try again, shall we?" the older woman clapped as she made her way to the tape deck and pressed play.

By the end of class my feet were killing me and I was thankful that Charlie had come by to pick me up.

"Where's mom?" I asked, loading my book bag and backpack onto the floor of the cruiser.

"She had to run to the store with Bells, so I told her I'd swing by and grab you," my step dad said, though his attention remained on his station radio.

"Cool."

"How was school? I've been hearing from your mom's friends that you've grown into one hell of a dancer."

Shrugging my shoulders I stared out the window as we pulled away from the old brick building studio. "I am good, I guess. Ms Marie says I'm good enough to go to school in Paris when I'm thirteen."

Whistling and obviously impressed by the statement, Charlie glanced at me and then down to my feet.

"You think it's worth it?" he remarked, noticing the bruises and cuts from my slippers.

"Mom likes it when I dance. I don't know what else I want to be."

Ruffling my hair Charlie winked. "Don't worry kid. You've got plenty of time to decide what you want to be. One step at a time alright?"

"Alright."


	31. Chapter 31

"Leah, you know you're totally invited to the beach on Saturday, right?" Alice Brandon said sweetly in her super high voice. She reminded me of a dog whistle that wouldn't stop blowing.

"Yeah Lee, you should come hang out." Edward added with his big puppy dogs eyes. "The rest of Alice's friends want to meet you."

Rolling my eyes I scoffed. "Totally, we should totally meet there and be all like, besties forever." I mimicked, using there stupid blonde high school routine against them.

"Lee," Edward sighed, not understanding.

"O-kay. We're only trying to be nice, Leah. You don't have to spaz out on us." Alice pouted, using her fake eyelashes to look hurt.

"Whatever. I'm out," I growled, grabbing my back pack and throwing my half eaten lunch in the bin.

I hated the two of them together. They were just so sickening. Every time I saw them walking around the hallways I just wanted to grab Alice by the hair and ram her into a locker. Edward would go down with a knee to the balls. Wham. Right in the family jewels.

Later on that night, as Bella told us all about her schools visit to the aquarium, Edward showed himself.

"Is Leah in? I really need to talk to her," Edward asked Charlie uncomfortably.

"Leah, door." my step father grumbled as he stepped back into the living room to regain his dinner and watch the rest of the news.

Huffing, I quickly stuffed as much of my food as I could, in case it went to waste like my lunch had.

"What?" I grumbled as I walked to the door.

Edward closed his eyes and took a breath. "Look, I'm sorry about today. Alice gets kind of excited. She just wants to get to know you."

"I don't want _her_ to get to know me."

"Would it kill you to even try? She's been nothing but nice to you." Edward frowned tiredly, his eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

Ever since the surprise kiss we haven't been the same. Between Alice and her friends, Edward and I barely even saw each other after school anymore.

It was making things difficult.

"Why did you kiss me, Edward?"

"What?"

"Why would you kiss me and confuse me and then go out with that stupid Brandon girl before we could even talk about it." I retorted back, brushing a hand through my unruly hair.

"You made it perfectly clear you didn't want me."

"You didn't even give me a chance to think about it," I all but screamed as the emotional barrage began to reign on my chest. "As your best friend I deserved that much."

Slamming the door in his face I decided to sulk in my bedroom for the rest of the night. Mom had come to check on me and I let her know I was fine. Because I was.

I just wasn't fine with knowing Edward was slipping further and further away from me.


	32. Chapter 32

The leather of the motorbike seat was cold against my legs as I sat and listened to Jacob talk about his time stationed in Germany. He'd left LaPush straight after high school, gotten himself into a bar fight in Seattle and woke up a member of the United States Army. It wasn't hard to believe, the boys from LaPush were always up to no good anyway.

"Why did you stay?" I asked with a raised brow as he passed me the bottle of tequila. Taking a sip I felt the beautiful numb burn. "I mean, why not leave the army? I'm sure they would have allowed it."

"No fucking clue," he shrugged, digging his large hands deeper into his leather jacket. "I had nothing to go back to, so I thought 'what the hell'. There's only so much bullshit you can take before you give up trying, right?"

"Right," I nodded in drunken agreement. I was sick of the bullshit. I was sick of a family who had betrayed me, sick of friends that turned out worse than enimes. I was sick of feeling like I was the only person on the planet, broken enough to be alone forever.

"That's what LaPush was for me. Just a whole bunch of bullshit. The great expectations of Jacob Black. Future chief. Leader of the tribe. Here to save every Red out there," he scoffed disheartedly.

"Huh," I nodded unintentionally, trying to remember the story about his family, his siblings and parents, to connect some of the missing dots swirling around in my head. I could see their faces but I still couldn't remember their names. "I see."

The wind whipped eagerly through my hair while I watched him lean back against the large trunk of a tree. He'd grown since I'd last seen him. Where he was once a boy, stood a man. I had no idea why I could remember Jacob, but not the rest of his family. Why I could remember his eyes, but not the story of his heritage. Why I could remember his smell, but not if we'd ever talked before tonight.

He was a mystery to me.

"But you're happy now?" I found myself asking as I took another sip from the bottle.

"Happy?" he grinned as he sauntered toward me, the gracefulness of his steps intriguing me. His dark eyes were almost black as he tipped my chin to the side. "I'm free, I'm drunk and a beautiful woman is straddling my bike. What do you think?" his voice dropped ever so slowly as he spoke, prying the bottle from my hands and pulling the hair from my shoulders, back.

Feeling his warm lips against my skin, made my heart clench. Tears welled in my eyes and I tried in vain to blink them away.

"Jacob-"

"Shhh," he whispered, pulling away and wiping at my wet cheeks. "I promise we don't have to do anything. Not tonight. Just be with me."

Gently he kissed my cold tears away and buried his face in my hair, taking refuge against me. His hot breath circled my skin like silk and the feeling was heavenly. Like God had finally seen me and cast that eerie ray of warmth down on me.

Muffled was the sound of his voice. "We can just stand here and do nothing."

"Okay," I whispered, reaching around and grasping the leather of his jacket to pull him closer. "Okay," I nodded again, more to myself than him.

Jacob was warm and covered most of my body, covered me from the chill of the wind and the dangers of anything around me. Jacob's warmth made me cry. Not because I didn't want the warmth, but because I did. I'd missed warmth like this. I'd missed the touch of another human being. I'd missed so much and the longer we stood there, the more I began to feel more than just emptiness.


	33. Chapter 33

"Now girls, watch and learn," Charlie announced as he began to unpack the tents. "The key to a good tent is the pegging."

Bella and I rolled our eyes as we dumped another armful of twigs and branches into the unlit fire pit. Mom only managed to give us a pitiful apology with her eyes. We all knew Charlie was eager about our camping trip but this was taking the cake. I suppose it was only fair. Charlie was a man who was destined for sons. Instead he ended up with a bitchy ballerina and a self professed nerd.

After forty minutes of listening to Charlie narrorate his 'tent skills', Bella and I decided to check out the falls nearby. I was close to putting a bullet between my eyes with my step fathers side arm had it gone on any longer.

Silently we walked side by side, the sound of the rushing falls nearing with each step we took. I could hear Bella's laboured breathing increase as we made our way higher along the path.

"Are you alright?" I chuckled, turning to see my step-sisters brightly coloured cheeks. "Do you need a break?"

"Shut up," she chilled as she slapped my arm playfully. "I'm just not used to all this fresh air."

"Well make sure you tell me when you're about to pass out." I grinned cheekily.

Bella wasn't a sports type, but she was still lean. It took one of our camping trips for me to remember that while she was lean, her favourite past time activities were books and librarys, not the forest or track and field events.

As the falls came into view we both took a seat on a fallen tree. Bella had mostly recovered but the bright colour of her cheeks still welled.

"Worst birthday ever," she muttered as she flicked off a small beetle which had gotten hauled up in her laces.

"Come on. There must be something good about turning sixteen," I laughed, bumping her shoulder with mine.

"Well, I guess I get my licence soon. But I'm not sure about driving that big blue truck out back."

Rolling my eyes I nudged her again. "You'll be fine."

She seemed down and I reallty didn't want this whole camping adventure to be a bust, it was all for Bella after all. "Hey, I know," I proclaimed as I stood and dusted off my hands, "Let's jump from the Falls."

Bella cringed and leaned away from me as if I had just hit he with a cement truck. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, come on. It'll be fun."

"Insane more like it."

"Party pooper," I teased, as I stuck out my tongue at her. Standing toward the edge of the falls I kicked my shoes off and began removing my socks. The hard grey rocks under my feet were cold, and that meant the water below would be even more so. It was a stupid idea, but I was sick of being bored.

"You - you can't jump from there, Leah" Bella stuttered as she watched me peel off my jumper so I was only in my jeans and tank top. "You're going to kill yourself."

Before she could stop me further, I did my best impersination of Tarzan and lept from the rocks towards the water below. Hitting the water was like hitting cement. The cold licked at every part of my skin and I couldn't help but swear as I broke the surface.

"Leah, you idiot. You _idiot_," Bella cried out from the top as I swam to the bank. The fall was only about twenty feet but it was still pretty daring. My heart pounded in my chest, pushing hot blood around my body.

By the time I'd pulled myself from the water, my step-sister was already stomping towards me.

Throwing my clothes onto a tree, Bella pulled her arm back and slapped me dead across the face. Heat bloomed to the area as I clutched it in shock. Had she really just hit me? Poor, sweet, scared, never-hurt-nobody, Bella?

"Bella," I began to apologise, watching as the tears welled in her eyes. "I-"

"Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?" she screamed hoarsely before collasping against me into a hug. Her tiny body was shaking against mine and I couldn't help but feel terrible. "Ever."

Stunned and cold, I merely nodded and apologised, promising her I would never do it again.


	34. Chapter 34

Sticky Buns.

I have no fucking idea why I keep eating this stuff. But it tastes like heaven and it makes me happy.

I wiggle my sock covered toes with delight. Bella has had some crazy ideas lately and the socks are only one of them. Bright green, yellow and pink stripes. Looking at them alone makes me happy. Urgh. Or is that all the sugar in these buns. Whatever. It's fun.

"I'm just going out for a few hours. I'll be back later," Bella calls as she shuffles quickly to the door, trying to be unseen.

"Hey," I call out, trying not to let the delicious carbs fall out of my mouth. "Where are you going and why aren't I invited?" I pout, cheeks filled like a hamster.

"Oh, it's nothing really, just meeting some people," she blushes as she wraps a scarf around her neck. But that's when I notice it.

"Are you-" squinting my eyes I lean forward, "Are you wearing make-up?"

"Shut up," she grumbles as she attempts to wipes to lipstick away.

I can't help but laugh as I roll around on my couch. She's not just going out. "You whore!" I accuse, pointing like a maniac at her, "You have a DATE!"

"Oh my god, shut up," she laughs as she rubs the end of the scarf over her lips.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, she hasn't denied it." I cheer as I stick my legs over the back of the couch and hang my head over the side. "Ten bucks says she's wearing a thong," I say loudly to myself, causing my sister to blush like a rose.

"I'm leaving now," she mutters in embarassment.

"Aren't I going to meet the dashing man whose taking you out?" I ask, eyebrows raised.

Instead of answering, Bella simply sticks out her tougne and slips out the door.

Blowing my fringe from my eyes, I continue to watch the program blaring on the TV. Not bothering that I am still upside down.


	35. Chapter 35

BellaPOV

"Hey," I whispered, trying to pull the door behind me closed.

"Hi," he replied, a large smile covering his face. His hair was messy atop his head and I couldn't help but giggle at his dodgy attempt to try and cover it with a baseball cap. "Leah here? I was thinking we could grab some lunch. All three of us."

His smile slipped away slowly as I bit my lip.

"Something wrong?" he asked as he took my hands.

"We were at the Physiotherapy session today and Leah remembered she could dance. She just remembered out of the blue. You should have seen it Edward. It was just so... heartbreaking."

"What? Why?" he queried, egging me on with the slow movements of his thumb over my skin. The motions made me shiver.

"The therapist told us... Leah will never be able to dance professionally again. The factures from the crash won't be able to handle the pressure of a full time dancer. I... she's hiding how upset she is. She's locked herself away again. She won't come out of the room."

"Oh Bella," he whispered, pulling me into a soft embrace, "I'm so sorry."

"All of her hard work will mean nothing, Edward. It's just not fair." I sobbed, staining his tee with tears. If there was anywhere safer than Edward's arms, I didn't know it.

"Of course it's not fair. Life is never fair. I'm sure Leah will get throught this. With our help," he smiled, bowing his head down so he could see my eyes, "she can get through anything. We can get through anything."

Nodding, I pulled away and sniffled. Edward had the best intentions, but even he should have known that Leah wasn't about to take the advice of a therapist.

After letting Edward inside the small apartment, we sat on the couch and talked. Mostly about Leah, the follow ups we'd been to in the past weeks, the plans for any future care. But it was nice when we just talked about what we'd been doing, how our lives had been up until now.

Edward seemed interested in my choosen profession. Of course I'd graduated Journalism, but I hadn't yet gotten any job offers. Merely the theory part of my profession was over, I still had a lot to learn in the real world. We talked about ways I could start off small, maybe start an online blog, write a few short stories to get my foot part way in the door.

It was nice talking to Edward even though we both knew that Leah was the one holding us together. If it weren't for her, we wouldn't have even known each other.

I remember Edward from High School. He wasn't just the normal regular guy my sister seemed to see. He was handsome, rich, popular and totally enthralled in her. My friends were defintely jealous, though I was impartial. I didn't know Edward from a bar of soap and he belonged solely to my sister Leah.

And as ridiculous as it sounds, he didn't even know.


	36. Chapter 36

JacobPOV

"Babe, I'm home," I call through the seemingly empty house. The stacked magazines on the coffee table spark my attention. Leah must have cleaned the house. Comtemplating this I realise Hell must have also frozen over.

Dumping my keys and the bag from the store, I step around the living area and notice all the things that are off. Nowehere are there pictures of Leah as a child. I have several hanging that Dad had given me over the years, some of my family but nothing of Leah's. There are pictures of us, but no pictures from her past. It's strange that I'd never noticed before and the feeling it leaves in my stomach is odd.

"Leah?" I call out, questioning the silence in the house. It's eerie and cold in the passage toward our room but I can't stop myself. "Baby?"

"In here," she beams as I open the already ajar door.

She sits on the bed, grinning from ear to ear as she flips a slim white stick in her hands.

"What are you doing in here? What's-" My voice freezes in my throat as she holds up the tiny stick in her hands. It's got me mesmerised and it becomes the most important thing in my world. "I - I - we're - are we? - pregnant?"

She nods enthusiastically and crawls to the end of the bed, bekoning me over. She turns the stick so I can see the two perfect blue lines across the screen. I'm lost for words as I look from her to the stick in disbelief. Me? A father?

"We're having a baby, Jake." Her voice is different somehow. Lighter in a strange way.

And that night when she kisses me and tells me she loves me, I believe her.


	37. Chapter 37

"Don't be mad at us Leah. We couldn't help it. It just happened."

It feels as though I'm being drowned. Like the air in my lungs is frozen and wont let me inhale. Pressing my eyes close I try to make sense of this. The vision of there entangled hands make me heave and clutch at my chest. One hand on my eyes and one on my chest.

Hear no evil, See no evil, _Feel_ no evil.

"We want you to be okay with this. We want your blessing. I mean, it's early days but-" Edward stops when he hears the retched scream that leaves my chest.

"What. the. fuck?!"

My mother tries to comfort me but I push at her to stay away from me. I can't have anybody touching me. Not now. Not ever. Her hands press down against my hair, attempting to soothe my pain. But it's not enough. Not this time.

I fight my way from my mothers grasp before Charlie has enough time to intervene. I want to kill them both. Both of them knew about this and they didn't even have the guts to tell me. They didn't have to desency to inform me that the biggest bomb in my life was about to be dropped.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I should have come to you fi-"

I pull away from Edward so fast my elbow crashes through my mothers glass cabinet. The smell of blood quickly fills the small living area.

Back pedalling away from them all is the only thing on my agenda. I know I have to get away from them. I just know it. They've all known, behind my back, like it was nothing. Like this didn't mean the end of my world. Like this wasn't the end game

"Leah, calm down kid," Charlie pleads, palms up as if he's about to tackle a line backer. "You need to slow down and think. You should be happy for them."

"Fuck you, asshole," I growl, using my flat hands to feel a path behind me. "Fuck you. _All_ of you."

I can feel myself hyperventilating. I feel like a wild animal whose been trapped in a cage, whose being surrounded.

"Breathe darling, breathe," Edward whispers in a calm steady voice as he stands, his hands reaching out towards me.

"I can't," I cry out, tearing my nails down my chest to open up my airways.

My sight shifts around the room until I meet the eyes of the woman who knows she is guilty. Of a woman who promised to never hurt me. A woman who has ruined my whole life. She knows what she has done, even I can see that.

"You promised," I say, voice cracking as the tears fall down my cheeks in slow streams. "You promised me, Bella."

The disappointment is harsh in my voice, but the pain is far worse.

"I know Leah, and I'm so _so_ sorry," she pleads, her distress showing clearly on her face.

I nod in defeat.

And then I run.

And I don't turn back; even with their voices trailing behind me.


	38. Chapter 38

JacobPOV

She's offically the craziest person I have ever met. The ability to reason with her is zero to none.

It takes me almost three weeks to convince her to come with me to my sister's wedding. Not only was she completely irrational, the prospect of seeing her mother was a deal breaker. I had had enough.

"Fuck, Leah. Why can't you just get over it? Huh?" I hiss as I rub my hands through my hair. "Why can't you just put on your big girl panties and get the fuck over it?"

"Screw you, Black. Stop being so self-fucking-righteous," she screams back as she hurls a hard cover book through the air. "You don't know shit!"

Before she can escape, or runaway as I like to call it, I snatch her arm up and pull her close to me.

Her heart is beating out of her chest and her breath comes in short pants. "Self righteous?" I grin cruelly as she tries to fight her way from me. "Wake up and smell the fucking coffee, Leah. That pansy prick is marrying your sister. He doesn't love you. I love you. It's not him with you right now, it's _me_."

Her face crumbles before me and I try my best not to fall into her so sucumbingly. Her limbs fall limp and I manage to catch her before she falls to the ground.

"I'm the one who would do anything for you. I'm the one that deserves your love. Not him.

Sitting us both on the couch, I curl her legs up into my lap and lay her head on my shoulder. Her eyes are vacant but I know she can hear me through it all. Her bottom lip trembles as she clutches as me. She holds me as if I'm going to leave, but the crazy pretty girl in my arms is the only thing in my life worth a damn.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, as her long fingers play with the collar of my shirt like a child. "I do love you Jacob. I do. I just..." she shakes her head not wanting to continue but I urge her on with a kiss to the temple. "I want to be there with you. I'll come to LaPush." She says the words so clearly, that I know it's a promise.

I nod my head and squeeze her closer to me. My Leah. So damaged and broken. So beautiful and so sad at the same time. She's never going to be what she once was, but I'm going to help her get there. I'll help her until the end, because without her, I will meet my end. Without her smile, without those sad eyes, without her voice, I will go back to being just another lost boy.

"I haven't met your sister," she chuckles, though tears still fall down her cheeks. "Even after all this time..."

"Don't worry about it. Rach will love you."

I hold her until she squirms and lifts herself on to my lap. Her hair hides her eyes and I shiver as I feel her fingers crest along the length of my shoulders. Her full weight is slowly lowered to the tops of my thighs and I can't help but take a long deep breath.

Lifting my hand, I push back her bangs and smile. "There she is," I whisper.

"Shut up," she smiles.

My fingers weave their way into her hair, massaging her scalp, before pulling her closer. Our noses brush softly and I feel as if I'm breathing her in. One breathe at a time. It's surreal, the feeling.

One day, she may even feel it for me.


	39. Chapter 39

EdwardsPOV

Bella drops two envelops to the table, one addressed to each of us. We both don't need any special signage to know it is Leah who has written the letters. With less than a week until our September wedding date, the family have still yet to hear from her.

Not even Sue and Charlie have been able to track her down in the last 18 months. Her parents like to think that she's somewhere safe and warm, and with people that love her. Both Bella and I know the real Leah. The Leah that won't care, that would be susceptible to the belief that strangers were your friends and who would trust even the most untrusting person.

"I can't read it," Bella stutters as her fingers shakes. "What if it's-"

I hush my fiancé quickly and pull her toward me. Petting her hair softly, I kiss her cheek and will her to be strong.

"She loved you, you know," Bella starts, biting down on her lip. "She loved you so much. I just... I'm a terrible sister, Edward. No wonder she hasn't come home. She probably hates me."

"Time eventually heals all wounds, Bella. Even hers."

She contemplates my words for only a second. "You really believe that?"

I glance down. "No. But hopefully she does."

...

_Dear Bella,_

_Congratulations on your wedding day._

_I'm sure my mother will make you look like the perfect bride._

_I'm sorry I couldn't be there. But I can't._

_I can't watch you marry someone whom -_

_I can't watch you marry him._

_I wish you all the happiness in the world._

_Leah._

...

I grab my envelope once Bella leaves for bed and slip out the front door to sit on the porch. The half-moon provides enough light coupled with the lit window to be able to read the scrawled hand writing.

Turning the envelope over in my hands, another thing occurs to me.

Running my thumb over the corner of the envelope I inhaled sharply and stand.

Jogging down my porch steps and across the grass I feel the wet grass soak the bottom of my track pants. Standing by the mail box I glance back and forth down the street, eyes blazing waiting for a singular movement.

The absence of a stamp means Leah had hand delivered the letters.

After ten minutes my stomach sinks, the realisation hitting me that Leah wouldn't be jumping out from the nearest tree and running into my arms to forgive me. That wasn't her intention. Not today.

Turning over the letter I slowly tear it open and peek inside. I see the letter first but the moon light picks up a glint of metal. Tipping the contents into my palm, I watch as not only a letter, but a slim silver band falls out.

_Edward,_

_I love you._

_Be happy._

_You're free._

_Leah._

...


End file.
